.liar

Deep in my heart I know she lies
But I won’t believe it
I won’t believe she would do this to me
And I can’t
Always there when I felt down
Always there when my world crashed down
So many things she hides from me
So many things only because she doesn’t want to hurt me
Now I see myself drowned in pain
Does she hide even more things than I will ever now?
Does she lie?

I know she lies
I know she lies
Say that you lie!

Never thought our friendship ends up like this
Can’t take silence and her ignorance
Can’t blame her for something I do either
Confused
Messed up
Almost crazy
want to go back to the time before
when everything was right
when she was the hold in my life
I feel alone, all by myself
Left in rain outside, when her sun shines all the time
I beg please be my friend again but

I know she lies
I know she lies
Say that you lie!

Depth of lies rises and rises
I won’t
I can’t
Trust her again
She lies!

(01/23/2008)

.the introduction

I thought about how I am going to introduce myself and this blog.
The easiest and best way to describe myself and my life is with the words of Shakespeare in Macbeth

. not so happy, yet much happier .
(Thats the fortelling of the witch for Banquo.)

This quote caught my attention.
It felt like I found me, myself and everything I stand for in this short sentence.

(Sounds pretty sad if you consider the end that Banquo is led to.)

. not so happy
There are points in my life I do not feel happy about at all.
It was never easy for me to feel accepted.
To accept myself and love myself for who I am.

.yet much happier
There are always, somewhere in the darkest of all black nights
little spots, little stars, little planets, little worlds
that inject my orbit,
my little world.
Sometimes I do not know why I deserve them.
Sometimes I know exactly why I am here and why
I deserve them



I hope you will enjoy reading my blog.

Whether it is not so happy
Or much happier